There are no words to describe the loss of a loved one whether they are a family member, friend or fury friend. A loss is a loss, and it is painful and unbearable.
Our week has been consumed with the unknown, diligently trying to locate someone we love and then finally receiving the news that she is gone; the loss of our beloved Jessie Bardwell.
It is extremely difficult to speak of someone or write about the loss of a loved one in the past tense when you feel their presence in the now. Clearly I have not moved into acceptance.
First let me say this, physical violence of any kind must be addressed and for those who do physically harm one another, they must be held accountable and we must try to understand why this behavior occurs and how we as a community can contribute to the change that is needed and required to help make a difference for change. The other side to this agenda is the emotional violence that occurs everyday and is overlooked and/or not addressed, not very often I would say, requiring the same attention as physical abuse.
If you know me, you have heard me speak about how unacceptable it is to “bully” anyone. Physical bullying, cyber bullying, telecommunication bullying and the least talked about bullying; Gossip.
We have a responsibility as a community and as human beings to become kinder, more loving and more understanding even in conflict. People, we WILL have conflict, how we deal with the conflict ultimately sets the tone and the path for the resolve. We do not have to isolate or hate each other and we do not have to gossip and speak untruths or truths to serve our agenda. The only goal is to seek resolve.
What we know is this, when unresolved conflict continues, it WILL escalate. Human beings that physically harm others, majority of the time they will continue the pattern if not broken. If we continue the emotional violence and gossip about one another, it is certain we will continue the behavior over and over again and the cycle will continue on. No change will occur and there will be very bad outcomes.
What is important now is that we support one another through this unchartered and unfamiliar journey we are enduring. We must comfort one another, listen to one another and create a space for each other that is safe and secure with no judgement. In the event you find yourself in conflict and you will, you will always have someone or some place to seek solace and to feel safe and not be in harm’s way (safety zone) with David and I. Our commitment is to be better listeners and to resolve our own personal conflicts in the coming weeks and months and to set an example for others, hoping every one will follow our path. We may not be able to change the past but we can change an outcome for the future.
David and I choose to celebrate Jessie and all of her greatness and trust me she is beyond fantastic. She is our friend, she is our loved one, she was a caregiver to our precious Milo, she was often better at work than David or I and she took better care of of us both than we did her. Our hearts are shattered.
Please watch over us and remember to sprinkle your magic fairy dust on us from time to time as we will surely need it.
Please give our Milo a big hug, as I know he is at your side.
Spread your wings and fly, sweet friend. 👼🏼👼🏼
We love you and will miss you every day.
David and Tillie Pan
Please become involved and please spread the word – NO MORE VIOLENCE.